Possibly the most pointless show ever

Mr Reloved reviews French Collection, Channel 4’s newest upcycling show 

The premise is a familiar one. Three amateur enthusiasts buy things, then try to sell them at a profit. So far, so Bargain Hunt, but Channel 4’s new daytime series, French Collection, offers a twist: the buyers buy in France and sell in the UK. That’s a TV series right there.

Guided by dealer Mark Franks, the three keen contestants are given £800 to spend at a French flea market, with the aim of upcycling the items and selling them at a profit back in Blighty. The contestant who makes the biggest profit keeps everyone’s winnings.

French Collection presenter Mark Franks

The first thing to strike you is just how expensive the flea markets are. Sure, there’s the occasional bargain, but by and large they are charging well over the odds for items you could pick up at British antiques fairs or auctions for far less money. In fact, any items the contestants fail to sell are taken to an unspecified British auction, where they always make a massive loss on the price paid for them.

Most times, the contestants do make a profit, but only a couple of hundred quid, which, in the real world, would instantly be swallowed up by the cost of getting to, staying in and getting the furniture back from France. This is a cost never factored in to the game show element of the series.

Perhaps the biggest puzzle, though, is just how much the pro dealers back in the UK are prepared to pay for the items. Although they rarely cough up the ludicrous prices suggested by Franks and the contestants, they often pay far more than you would expect. So much that you can’t see where the profit is. One suspects they are doing it just to get their shop on TV. And who can blame them? Maybe we’d do the same.

Of course, some dealers tell it like it is and state outright that the pieces are terrible and they wouldn’t pay more than a tenner for them.

It’s not really the fault of the contestants – they’re all amateurs and are given just one day to upcycle their stuff. It’s almost impossible to paint a large piece of furniture to a high standard in just one day, even more so when you’re trying to do three of four pieces.

Hopefully, from our point of view as furniture painters, the viewers will see that there’s more to painting a chest of drawers than paying 200 euros for it, slapping on a single coat of paint and then taking it to a shop and expecting them to hand over £600.

Like the aforementioned Bargain Hunt, the premise is flawed. In Bargain Hunt, the contestants buy at antiques fairs (retail prices) and sell at auction (wholesale prices). In French Collection, they buy from market traders (retail prices) and sell back to dealers (at wholesale prices) but they also have to added travel and upcycling costs to factor in, which makes this possibly the most pointless show ever.

Still, we’ve watched every episode so far and it’s still on our series link, so it must be doing something right…

Interesting fact: French Collection is made by Reef, who were ditched by the BBC when it was discovered that they had used a crew member to pretend to be a member of the public on one of their other shows.

The world’s four best furniture painters*

*according to Mr Reloved, who freely admits he’s only seen a fraction of the world’s furniture painters and there are, most likely, lots of very talented people out there he’s yet to discover and will gladly stand corrected if you send him their details.

There are loads of excellent furniture painters out there. There are also loads of good ones, average ones and terrible ones (like me, for example). I could list loads of people who I think are really good and who run great shops, style their stuff well, come up with bold designs – but for me, four people stand out about the crowd.

I wanted to make this a Top Five, but I genuinely couldn’t think of anyone else I admire as much as these four (except for Laura, obviously, but I can’t put her in here, can I?)

So, here they are, in no particular order…

Hetty by Vintage Betty

Vintage Betty, Carmarthenshire, UK

Excellent choice of starter pieces. Only high quality furniture of a good age is used. Brilliantly smooth finish with top quality distressing. Bold colour choices always fit the piece perfectly. Presentation and photo staging is right up there with the best, too.  

Victorian Chest of Drawers by Distressed But Not Forsaken

Distressed But Not Forsaken, Cumbria, UK

Some of the most natural looking distressing you’re ever likely to see. Pieces full of character that anyone would be proud to own. All photos are staged in a home that is just so much nicer than yours will ever be, but that won’t stop you trying – aspirational stuff.

Chevron pattern drawers by Simple Redesign

Simple Redesign, Michigan, USA

Big, bold, brash colours and the cleanest, sleekest finishes I’ve ever seen. Hardly a day goes by when I’m not wowed by something on Simple Redesign’s Facebook page. Owner Julie is also very generous when it comes to sharing her expertise on her blog.

Green drawers by Knack

Knack, South Carolina, USA

Innovative, creative, consistent – there’s nothing Barb Blair from Knack doesn’t do well. She’s even written a book all about it. And you can’t even hate her for being so good, because she’s one of the loveliest, kindest people you could ever hope to encounter.

So, there you have it. My fab four furniture finders and finishers. 

What do you think? Share your favourites below, or on our Facebook page.

Fill Your House For Free? Hardly...

Why we're not convinced by Kirstie Allsopp and Kirstie's Fill Your Home For Free

It’s fair to say that I’m all for recycling. Most of my clothes come from charity shops, I’ve donated items to my local Freecycle group and I always (well, nearly always) separate out my plastics, glass, cardboard etc from my kitchen rubbish.

Then there’s my (albeit small) involvement in Reloved Vintage. The whole ethos of the business is to take good quality vintage items and ensure they get a new home for years to come, rather than becoming landfill, so I completely agree with and applaud the sentiment behind Channel 4 show Kirstie’s Fill Your House For Free (which has a second series in the pipeline).

What a great idea – bringing upcycling and recycling into the mainstream. We should all be encouraged to turn our backs on our throwaway society and invest in quality products that eliminate the need for harmful manufacturing processes, or shown ideas for repurposing stuff that would otherwise get dumped.

It’s great in principle, even if it will drive up prices in charity shops (good for the charities, not good for bargain hunters like me).

A lovely wool tie, 75p from a charity shop

Another charity shop gem...

But there’s something about KFYHFF which doesn’t quite ring true. First, I have to try to eliminate the Allsopp element from my appraisal. I’m not a fan. Laura loves watching Location, Location, Location, but I find the forced banter between Kirstie and Phil painful – not to mention the smug couples who we’re supposed to empathise for when they reveal they can only afford a £450,000  mortgage.

Then there are the Kirstie craft shows, in which she enlists the country’s leading crafters to give up hundreds of pounds worth of their time to create a bespoke gift – then tells us we can all do that too!

So, putting The Allsopp to one side, here’s my beef with Kirstie’s Fill Your House For Free: they never fill anyone’s house for free.

That’s a pretty major flaw for me. It’s like John Humphrys not bothering to ask any questions on Mastermind, or Gregg Wallace and John Torode telling the Masterchef contestants they can just get a takeaway in if they like.

In the last series, people from all over the country (including a very middle class lady whose very expensive home needed some new furniture after her ‘snug’ was flooded – poor her), were invited to look around Kirstie’ shop full of free stuff, in Glasgow and invited to help themselves. So in this case, to get something for free, they have to travel hundreds of miles to a shop that doesn’t exist in real life. Brilliant.

Then there were the objects sourced by Kirstie and her elves from Freecycle groups – meaning a couple from Coventry (or somewhere equally bleak, I forget where) were matched up with a ‘free’ fireplace from Dundee (or somewhere equally distant – you don’t expect me to research this do you?). 

Firstly, the KFYHFF production team were scouring Freecycle, to nab the best bits, in order to make a TV show, in order to make money. That’s surely against the spirit of freecycling.

Secondly, they were taking things from all over the country and giving them to people from miles away – that doesn’t work outside the confines of a TV show.

Thirdly, I’ve never seen such good quality, and obviously worth a few quid, items offered on my local Freecycle groups…

And then there were the items, sourced from antiques shops and reclamation yards which they PAID for. Yes, in a programme called ‘Fill Your House For Free’ they paid for items to fill their house.

And I haven’t even mentioned Kirstie’s repeated suggestion of “go to a house clearance”. How, Kirstie? Should I quit my job to set up a house clearance firm, then turn up at a dead man’s house, help myself to an old sideboard and bugger off? Be more helpful with your suggestions!

 

"Give us stuff so we can make money!"

So why am I blogging about it now, months after it was broadcast? Well, I’ve just seen an appeal on Twitter, from Kirstie and Phil’s production company, Raise The Roof, appealing for donations of furniture and furnishings, specifically copper piping, for the upcoming series.

Now, call me a jaded old cycnic, but if an item like copper piping is in such short supply that a TV production company with experience of sourcing items for free can’t get hold of any, then it’s probably pretty unlikely that Joe and Jo Bloggs from Walsall are going to find a load on their local Freecycle group.

In fact, appealing for people to give you free furniture for your TV show, so you can show the British public how easy it is to get free furniture, is slightly disingenuous, if you ask me.

Kirstie’s Fill Your House For Free? More like Kirstie’s Fill Your House By Appearing On A TV Show That Has Run A National PR Campaign, Fronted By A Famous Face, Appealing For Donations Of Furniture, Or, Like In The Last Series, By Appearing On A TV Show That Sources Items From Freecycle Groups Hundreds Of Miles From Your House, Or Pays For Items, Thus Not Making Them Free Anymore...

Not so catchy though, that one…

As always, tell me below if you agree, or if you think I’m being a pillock

Getting it Right - #5 Simple Redesign

We're big fans of Simple Redesign. Run by Julie, Simple Redesign is based in Michigan, USA and the furniture is simply brilliant.

Take a look at SR's Facebook page and you'll see why we love Julie's smooth finishes, bold use of colour and eye for design (we're a sucker for a chevron print).

What we also really admire is Julie's willingness to share her expertise. We particularly like the tutorials on using thumb tacks (drawing pins to us) to aid smooth running of drawers and how to add casters to raise the height of a piece of furniture.

Another nice feature of Simple Redesign's website is that the online shop allows customers to buy either finished, painted pieces of furniture, or unpainted pieces with their own choice of colour – something that should keep everyone happy.

We could go on, but really we think we should let Simple Redesign's photos do the talking.

Great use of colour and pattern

Love the handles

Look at that finish!

And we want the rug, too

We could have chosen so many more photos...

If you're even slightly interested in upcycling or design, do yourself a favour and like Simple Redesign's page to see more of Julie's innovative, striking work. Is she the best furniture upcycler working today? We'll let you decide...

How to get started in furniture upcycling

How to upcycle and paint vintage furniture

This is a feature we wrote for a local magazine, encouraging readers to have a go at painting their own furniture

Laura Harvey, from Rutland-based Reloved Vintage, shares a few tricks of the trade to help you give old furniture a new lease of life

Upcycling – or simply putting old stuff to a new use – has gone big. TV shows, such as Kirstie’s Fill Your House for Free have brought the idea into the mainstream – and the Government recently encouraged us all to ‘make do and mend’ instead of contributing to the throwaway society.

Here’s how you can begin your own upcycling adventure.

What you’ll need

Paint. There are specialist furniture paints, but any paint will do. We prefer to use eggshell, for a smooth, matt finish.

A paint brush

A screwdriver (for removing any handles etc)

Furniture wax or varnish (if using matt paint, choose a clear matt varnish, too)

Masking tape (a professional decorators’ tape, such as Frogtape will prevent bleeding

Sandpaper – the coarser the better

A piece of wooden furniture – choose a clean, solid piece for your first attempt

Preparing the wood

If your piece of wood is varnished, you’ll need to sand it. If you try putting the paint onto a varnished surface, it’ll just chip right off when dry. (Note, some specialist paints will adhere to varnished surfaces). For tidy edges, use your masking tape to ‘mask-off’ areas just inside any drawers, doors, glass panels etc.

Unscrew any handles and put them to one side – it’s easier than painting around them.

Get painting!

Don’t just slap it on! For the best finish you’ll want several thin coats of paint – big drips and splodges are ugly! Try to brush with the grain of the wood. Once you’ve covered the whole piece, wait for it to dry and do it again. With each coat you’ll see less and less bare wood showing through.

After three coats you should be done – now you just need to let it dry (it won’t take long)

Distressing

If you want to, you can distress your furniture to give it a bit more character. For light distressing, use sandpaper, for heavy stuff, you can use a knife or wallpaper scraper. For a more natural look, focus on edges and areas that would get the most natural use, such as handles and keyholes.

Protection

If you don’t protect your furniture, your paint will scratch, chip and stain. Wax can offer a nice finish and feel, but if it’s an item that is likely to get a lot of use – or come into contact with water, varnish is a better option. Apply the varnish as you did the paint – thin coats. 

The next step

If you get the bug, you’ll want to play around with new ideas. Try using a different paint colour for the first couple of coats, which can be revealed at the distressing stage, of paint the inside of a drawer or cupboard in a bright colour for a little bit of happiness every time you open it.

Like the sound of it but don’t have the time or confidence to do it yourself? Reloved Vintage can give your furniture a whole new look.

Laura Harvey is the founder of Reloved Vintage, specialists in painted furniture and vintage accessories. Based just outside Stamford, Reloved Vintage offers free delivery in the Peterborough area.

You can find out more at relovedvintageinteriors.co.uk, follow them on Twitter: @RelovedVintage, or like them at facebook.com/RelovedVintage

What to look for when buying painted furniture

How to buy vintage furniture and tell bad painting from good painting

We recently wrote a small article for one of our local magazines, Stamford Living, aimed at trying help customers know what to expect when buying painted furniture.

So often we've seen shoddily painted pieces for sale at events and in shops - that we wanted customers to know that there is a difference in quality and that not all hand-painted furniture will have drips and scruffy edges. We've even seen furniture painters claiming that all upcycled painted furniture will have drips, blemishes and discolouration due to the nature of the business. We firmly believe this is not true - and that a poor finish is only unavoidable if you rush the job.

Here's the article as it appeared in Stamford Living.

Painted furniture for the home has never been more popular. Laura Harvey, founder of Rutland-based painted furniture specialists Reloved Vintage tells us what to look for.

From TV adverts to high street shop windows, painted furniture is everywhere.

More and more people are growing tired of the flat-pack, throwaway culture and opting for more solid, traditional pieces with a contemporary twist.

Some high street chains sell new, mass-produced furniture, designed to look old (despite being made in a factory in the far east), but if you want a genuinely vintage piece of furniture that has been reloved, there are a growing number of independent sellers to choose from.

So how do you know that the item you’re buying is of good quality? What telltale signs of shoddiness should you know about and how can you tell if your ebay ‘bargain’ is going to be more trouble that it’s worth?

Here are three key things to remember when you’re buying painted furniture, to ensure you buy a top-quality piece that will last you for years to come.

• Has the paint been protected? This is vital. If the paint has a chalky or rough feel, it has not been protected with a varnish or wax – this means your new chest of drawers will soon be chipped, stained and basically ruined. The finish should feel smooth and spilt water should simply bead off. If buying online, always ask what wax or varnish was used.
• What’s it like inside? Are there scruffy paint marks where the interior has not been masked off during painting? Have the drawers been lined? Is there dust on the shelves? Do the drawers stick? All these point to a careless attitude.
• Are there drips or brush marks? The paint should have been applied carefully, so as not to drip and leave ugly blobs. If the paint has been slapped on in one thick coat, you’ll see nasty streaks and bare wood showing through. 

Below are a few photos showing a badly painted chest we rescued for a lady who had bought it from someone selling painted furniture on ebay.

Someone actually sold it like this

They thought: "Yep, that'll do"

We stripped it back and repainted

Drips are "unavoidable" eh?

Horrible greasy staining coming through the paint

Strip, sugar soap, repaint, wax. Sorted.